The past two days have been tough. Wednesday was bad too since the newscast went so horribly wrong that well it didn’t replay at 10 that night. Everybody kept messing up but the bastard I hate was blaming me the entire time. Yesterday wasn’t much better… I worked from 12 to 10, sitting on my ass doing nothing. Shannon came up and visited for a while, had a meeting with my little boss, and just sat on my ass and left work after Grey’s Anatomy went off. Now today… I’m working from 4 to 10 and ended up having to use most of my money in the bank to help my mom pay the light bill which means I won’t have the money for Penni for the tickets until next Friday when I get paid and I know that’s going to piss her off and it pisses me off but I can’t help it. It would be pure bitchy of me to tell her no I won’t help her pay it (my mom) because I live there too, you know? It’s not like she has some high paying job… she’s on disability and then babysits on the side and we barely get by and my intenet (as sucky as it is) is on there, plus I had my phone bill this week.

It’s just starting to get to me that I’m working my ass off and I get nothing in return. Sure I splurge once in a while and buy something (like my Tony Stewart peach towel the other day) but… I don’t know. I had it out with her today over the phone and I know that I shouldn’t… because she always tells me that she took care of her mama so I have to take care of mine but I mean, seriously… I’m still a fucking student. I was threatening to quit school today because I can’t keep doing this. I’m working myself to death. I mean it doesn’t look tiresome, sitting here for 10 hours but it is… you get bored and bitchy b/c you’re not doing anything. I’m literally working myself to death.. because not only all of that… I think I may have been talked back into working for the paper, not as web design but as Entertainment/Features editor which is what I wanted but I don’t know yet… and with me taking 17 hours in the Fall.. I just don’t fucking know… and now my sports boy came in talking about how the guy is such a Christian guy but has a lot of hate in his heart for me lol I told him that’s fine, because for a bitch… I sure hate his ass a lot too.

But now I’m at work again until 10 tonight and I have to be back at 9am in the morning for the softball game when all I really want to do is sit on my ass, watch a race, and be normal.

Then again, I’m never normal.

Tagged with: Filming • Personal