So, I’ve been in class for a total of 18 hours in the past three days…. 3 hours of Algebra and 3 hours of International Media a day and I have my first math test on Monday. I’m scared shitless. Math is NOT my strong point. I asked the teacher, an older man, did he take checks, money order, or credit cards and how much did a D cost. All I need is a D… it’s a core class, I’ll be happy with a D in Math… trust me. I don’t know why I’m so bad at it… I was good at it in elementry and middle school. See.. back then everybody was in the same class all day long.. but me and another girl… we were really good in math, bad in English and alright in Science and Social Studies so we changed classes… we had Math with the smart students… English with all the bad kids and the other classes with the regular kids. Now… I can barely keep my checking account straight (although online banking does help!)

But something interesting happened today… I’m sure Shannon will find it interesting.

In International Media, we watched a movie about Disney and how their movies are racist, sexiest, etc… like ever noticed that the black characters are usually monkey type animals? Ever noticed the latino/mexican characters are usually chihuahuas? The Simainese cats usually are Chinese people and the female, always perfect with big boobs, small waist, nice hips, and always has to be saved by the strong male character? For instance… Beauty in Beauty in the Beast stood by her abusive guy but thought he would change…. Ariel in the Little Mermaid gave away her voice but used her body to make the Prince to fall in love with her? Snow White loved doing all the housework?

It was interesting and sure, these people read too much into these things…. but it’s very interesting. Like… most fat people are showed as mean, evil, or stupid… Dr. Kim, who is from South Korea I think, he loves me haha, after the movie, he looks at me and he is like “Karah, do you have any issues” and I was like “Psh… I have a ton of them” but I was like “Yes, because there is no fat princess or no fat good character…. there’s not even a slightly pudgy girl shown in a good light in the movies…”

People laughed at me, but I was being honest.

As someone who’s battled with my weight all my life… I’m sensitive when it comes to stuff like that. Like, reading the article on NASCAR.com where Kasey Kahne called David Stremme fat because he doesn’t like him… it pissed me off a little. Stremme isn’t fat and I don’t like Stremme at all but it was just rude…. especially coming from someone like Kasey. Same thing with Carl Edwards calling Tony out about being pudgy…

Maybe I just have no self-confidence. Maybe it’s because I’m tired, I don’t know. The guy I met from FSU keeps texting me and I just really don’t know what to do. He texted me because he hadn’t heard from me this week and I told him how busy I’ve been and just… I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to do when it comes to that kind of shit. I have no time for it. I have no time for anything. I could have been in Darlington tonight… watching Ryan and Tony hit each other on the track and I would have probably been having a heart attack.

I should be able to go to the Pepsi 400… it’s right before my birthday and I think Shannon is wanting to go… my mom wants to go and I’m taking her… I was going to take her to Darlington since I spent that week in Daytona and we didn’t get to go to the shootout so I’m for sure taking her to Daytona… I don’t know if Penni’s wanting to go or not.

I need to have a little fun… I deserve it. I’ve worked my ass off. Maybe I’ll get to go see my man in Macon…. Mr. Gracin. So hot. So fine. So talented. So pretty. Rawr. Rawr. With my luck I won’t though…. I wish it were back in the good ole days… I could go to a concert every weekend.

What the hell happened to me?

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