So after the earlier post, I had a break down. I talked to my Mom about things that had been bothering me… how she makes me feel guilty a lot even though I know she doesn’t try to. I told her how I was tired of never having any money when I work my ass off because I have to help her pay bills, which I know I should do and it’s only right for me to do so, but I feel like she guilts me into it a lot. I told her how I was tired of her saying that “I was going to take care of her” and everything and that’s why I haven’t turned my application to graduate in yet because I’m scared to graduate.

I’m scared that I’m going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life and she promised me I wouldn’t be. I think I’m very close to being able to move once I graduate on my own, at least until I can get settled in and then she can come… maybe I’ll make enough money to get help her get her own place or something… I don’t know. At least I got all of that out in the open though.

I think I’m going to go talk to that shrink this week. I’m also going to call the preacher. Yes, I said I was going to do these things numerous times but I haven’t yet…. hell I’ve been so busy but I am. I promise.

After all of the discussion this afternoon, I took a nap and woke up feeling like crap and I ended up laying on the bed with her to watch the Eldora race. I really want to go up there. I really want to go to a race this year where I’m not working. The only race that I went to where I haven’t worked is that Big Car Series at Cecil that Ryan Newman was at. I worked in Daytona and I worked at the Hooter’s Pro Cup Series here. I’m hoping I can go to Charlotte but I don’t know. I’m going to the dentist for sure before anything else.

Oh, and Piper is crazy as hell. She was in this soda can box that a case of 24 came in. I took pics (on my flicr account - look to the right). Oh and you can watch below.

Tagged with: Personal