Is when you’re dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone
Driving cross town just to see if she’s home
Waking a friend in the dead of the night
just to hear him say it’ll be alright dapslyrics
When you’re finding things to do at night, not fall asleep

[audio:http://trackbunnyfilms.com/x/Garth%20Brooks%20-%20More%20Than%20A%20Memory.mp3]

Today hasn’t been such a good day. Of course, this week hasn’t except for a few things that went good, but other than that, I’m contemplating the next year of my life and what I want to do with it.

There’s several things I could do:

Scenario A:

I can drop Math and wait until the fall of 2008 to graduate. That way I can take out loan money in the fall and use it to move after I graduate, which I planned to do in the Spring but with the dentist costing so much, I can’t and I want both my smile to be better and to move. That way I can take Math ALONE in the summer and fully concentrate on it. In the spring I can take 12 hours, still work on the paper, have my radio show, and it won’t be so stressful as it would be. Then in the fall and I can a few extra film or audio classes. The only thing is… the Union is going to be torn down at the end of the Spring which means no game room while they’re rebuilding it. .. which means no job. I can get transferred over to the media lab though, but still… I’ve been in the game room since 2004, my second full semester and I wanted to close it out there.

Scenario B:

I can try to continue and take Math now and work my ass off, which I’m doing already but it isn’t helping and continue to graduate in early May. The money I get from the Spring semester will go on my teeth and I will be stuck in South Georgia with no money to move with but I get to graduate with my friends.

And I’m torn on what I want to do. So while I’m stressing on what to do with that, I’m worrying with this movie that I’ve got to make. The teacher hasn’t emailed me back and I’ve began writing a script which I think is the cheesiest thing ever. I have the guys pretty much set in the movie with the exception of one or two but the two main girl characters which are honestly the two main characters…. I have nobody yet. You know why? Most of my friends around me are guys. I mean, I have girls that are friends, but I don’t know. Shannon might be able to do it but I’m not counting on it. I’m giving myself an ulcer with this movie we have to make in two weeks. I have no time at all for a casting call because I don’t have time to do it except on the weekends and I have to freakin’ film and edit this weekend if it’s due next Tuesday which is what I believe Adaobi said. I have my Elvis presentation next Monday also. I have my first sociology test on Tuesday and Piper is also getting spayed that day.

*takes deep breath*

And I’m not even wanting to discuss the guy thoughts and all of that right now.

I wish I were five years old again.

Advice… any would be awesome.

Tagged with: Boys • Depression • Filming • Movies • Personal