Private | Diary of a Track Bunny

So… Thursday. Where the hell do I start? I think I was trying to stop liking him, TRYING… yet for some reason, I can’t. I don’t know why but when I talk live on the air, my voice goes up like an octave and I talk really fast and he was cracking up at me and was like “Just calm down, talk slow, and relax, it’s just me” and all I could do was just glare at him like “right, it’s just you… who I could seriously just go over and rape right now.” Random but Joey Lawrence is on my XM radio singing *Nothin’ my love can’t fix for you baybay* Anyway, we practiced and Adam (my sports boy) came in to do his show after mine and he knows I like Kevin and so he would just sit there and smile, knowing how terrified I was. But Kevin started playing this really rocking music after I introduced it and hejust started rocking out and banging his head and I’m like “That’s why your hair is long isn’t?” and he just giggled and laughed saying “Yeah, I love it” LMAO He was trying to get me to dance once and I was like nuh uh… homey don’t play that. But yeah, I was just giddy as hell after I left. Then today I got to talking about it with my therapist and all the issues I’ve had with guys from my sperm donor to the ex to Kevin and just everything in between and I started crying and just blah. I’ve got a feeling we’re gonna talk about it again on Wednesday. I just… I’m so pathetic. I really am. Enter your password to view comments

Okay so I didn’t make a post about this the other day but…. he called me Saturday while I was in the radio meeting with the Audio teacher to see if we got a certain game special on the TV in the game room because he wanted to watch the LSU game and I told him I didn’t think we did and he was like “Well damn I thought we could watch it together” and I’m like nope, I don’t work on weekends anymore….. SO… Today, I’m up at the office and Kerry (Two Stamps for those that know what I’m talking about) comes in and we walk back over to the radio station office and he’s in there I wave and continue to talk to Kerry. So I go back to the office and get my stuff together so I can go back down and order food from the Loop before I go to work at 2. Well… I get down here and he’s there in line right in front of me so I walk up to him and I’m like “Stop following me” and he’s like “Hey, you’re the one that came in the office, you’re following me” and I reply “I was in there talking to Kerry…” and his reply “Damn… that’s right” LMFAO So we talk about how LSU won and he asks if I want to get together this week to go over more radio stuff (really how much more is there?) and I’m like sure, isn’t your show tonight? And basically he told me to come up there tonight when I get out of class. The only problem is I have a big sociology test tomorrow and I have to take Piper to the Vet in the morning to get fixed, but I’m going to go up there for a little bit. Plus he told me my hair was cute today b/c it’s in ringlets. I’m wondering if I’m reading too much into this but for some reason I don’t know if I am or not. Oh and thanks for the advice guys… I’m going with Option A. Enter your password to view comments

So, the past few days… I’ve seen him a lot. He called me the other morning at 8am leaving me a voice message to see when we could meet up to go over the radio stuff. Then he sent me a facebook message and as I was replying back to the facebook one, and sending Penni a copy of the evil picture he has up, I look up and he’s standing there. So we talk blah blah blah…. yesterday I go in and he stayed up at the office b/c he was bored and so that he could show me the special show stuff. Apparently, when you first sign on to be a DJ, you have to do regular formatted hours. Then when you have so many hours logged, you can get your own special show. I’m bypassing all of that and going ahead and getting my own special show. So he’s showing me everything, giving me little quizzes as we go along and then we started talking about what we wanted to do when we were in high school… I wanted to be involved in audio, radio, and music production. We both didn’t take a foriegn language in high school b/c he didn’t want to take Spanish, he wanted Italian and they didn’t have it… me, I was kicked out of Spanish the second day of class in 9th grade. So we go our seperate ways, I go work on the paper, go to Biology come back and as I’m walking up to the union, the light in the radio office was on so as I’m walking across the street, I almost got hit by a car to see if I could see him in the window (b/c his desk is right there). Well when I walk up the stairs, I peek in and I’m like “You’re still here?” and he sighs, saying yes and he’s like “You?” and I do the same and he looked kind of confused, contemplative, I don’t know. So I go on to the office and start working on my page for the paper. But he kept playing the music in the office so loud, I know to get fucking attention lol but I never went over to say anything and it was that loud, hard rock music but I had to go across the hall to the advertising office to use Adobe since Carlos was on the other graphics computer in our production office and I go in, make the graphic, and as I’m leaving and shutting the door, he’s doing the same with his new bike and he’s like “You’re still here?” and of course, I’m like “Yes and will be to midnight” and he tells me goodnight and sweet dreams (wtf lol). I don’t even know what to make of it anymore. I was talking to him the other day about me going to the dentist and I’m like “I’m getting a make over” and he’s like “boob job?” and I’m like “I have enough boobs” and he looks down and back up at me. *shakes head* Either way, he’s going to help me get more acquainted with the radio stuff and help me on my first few shows. Hopefully I can tape them and put them online on here. That would be awesome. But yeah, I think the crush went over to something else after yesterday. I seriously have not liked this guy so fast since middle school and well we know how that turned out. Ok, must leave for dentist now. Enter your password to view comments

So… I was brave and told Brian (the FSU guy) to get on yahoo sometime over this past weekend and we would talk about planning on meeting up for a…. yeah, you guessed it. I’m not a phone person. I don’t like to talk on the phone. I don’t know why. Anybody that knows me knows this… I fucking hate the phone. Did he ever get on? Nope. Never. Not once! Never texted me. So I texted him last night to ask if he forgot about me? He said no, that he didn’t log on yahoo.. didn’t feel the need to… yet I logged on this morning and had 50 messages from him from last night asking where I was, why wasn’t I online, was I too busy with school? So he got MAD because I wanted him to log onto chat, which he does every fucking night just about anyway - last night included -, to discuss this. I told him I didn’t want to talk about it on the phone because it’s awkward, we can make the plans, and tada, meet up, go eat, whatever. I told him I’d be on most of the weekend. If he fucking wanted my ass as much as he claimed, he would have logged on when I asked. I hate talking on the phone, especially with him because I have and he just sits there, waiting for me to talk and whatever, I hate that. So I told him good, that I was going to give in and that now I’m glad that he didn’t log on if he was going to be an ass. It just all makes no fucking sense. So yeah, I hate guys. Well, not all…. but yeah, he’s out of the picture. Why the fuck can’t I just meet a decent guy who likes sex, isn’t into anything too freaky, likes NASCAR, and understands that I can’t ALWAYS FUCKING BE THERE. Enter your password to view comments

So I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while but didn’t know how to say things, didn’t know how to word them, and generally… just scared to even talk about it. I met this guy, I forgot how long ago. He lives in Tallahassee and works in the athletic department at FSU. He’s got his masters degree (I know he went to UGA for one of his degrees) and he was in North Carolina for an interview this week. I never asked what school, I just know that it’s about an hour from Charlotte. Anyway, he’s a nice guy and I’m not all that attracted to him. I mean, he’s a big guy.. and I usually like big guys with some meat on them but I’m just not attracted to him. Yet…. he’s attracted to me for some reason and has been since we met. We stopped talking for a while because he kept wanting to meet up one weekend and well… fuck, have sex, screw, whatever term you want. I haven’t seen him face to face since we met when he was visiting someone he knows that works at my school. Well, I got a little perflunked so we stopped chatting, texting, etc. Well I made a mistake week before last and called him by accident when I was trying to call my boss (they have the same name). Since then, we’ve been texting one another back and forth a little and he still wants to meet up. There’s a part of me that is saying, “Are you fucking crazy? You don’t really know this guy!” and then there’s the part of me that’s saying “What the hell are you being a good girl for? You’re 27 years old and you have had the sex life of reformed nun!” I know he’s a clean guy and he’s not some man whore. He lost his virginity when he was 22 with one of his best ‘girl’ friends. He’s never been in a real serious relationship and he can count the people he’s been with on one hand. Oh, by the way, he’s 28 I believe. He doesn’t want a relationship… he just wants me… myself…. uh, my body? I question his eyesight but that’s beside the point. My issue is… trust. I’m picky about my food… my clothes, everything, so someone I’m going to have sex with or share my body with is a major thing. I’m comfortable with my ex… he’s seen me when I wasn’t this fat and he’s seen me this fat. I don’t have to feel ashamed around him. But when I start thinking about someone else… this FSU guy… I start feeling as if I’m going to have an anxiety attack. I get nervous and all I can think of is I’m going to get pregnant by some guy who doesn’t want a relationship, I’m going to get some STD, he’ll see me without my clothes on and gag, all of these thoughts start going through my head but they don’t with the ex - because of trust. But I want to be a little adventurous. I’m not a virgin, so what the hell am I being good for? I mean, I don’t want to be a whore, but what would a fuck buddy hurt? It just annoys me that I have this issue. It’s not like I have guys knocking on my door or calling me all hours of the night for a booty call. I just wish I could do it. He says he would come up here and rent a hotel room (because we can’t do it here obviously and I wouldn’t want to with him). I’ve lost my mind, haven’t I? Enter your password to view comments

Author

Karah. 28 years old. College Senior. Newspaper Editor-in-Chief. Journalist. ♥ music & NASCAR. 20, 1, 19, 12 fan. FanGirl. Dirty Minded. Media. VH1. Design. Care Bears. Blunt. Grey's Anatomy. former Fan Fiction Writer. Celebrity Gossip. ♥ cats. Hopeless Romantic. Perfectionist. Charmed. ♥ color pink.

Subscribe!

Search DOATB

Spinnin' Records

Jonas Brothers – Tonight 2008/08/16
Jonas Brothers – Lovebug 2008/08/16
Jonas Brothers – Video Girl 2008/08/16
Jonas Brothers – Sorry 2008/08/16
Jonas Brothers – Can't have you 2008/08/16

Contact Me

Wanna Donate?

Hey, I'm not gonna lie. I'm a college student who works two jobs. Wanna show you appreciate my work here on the site and for your entertainment, slip me a dollar! It's better than stripping :)