Posted: September 7, 2006
College Newspaper: Spectator

As a child, a teenager, and even a young adult, I watched the MTV Video Music Awards as if it were a religion. I waited to see what kind of stunt Madonna would pull and if some huge star like Michael Jackson or Prince show up. I waited to see Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora perform “Wanted Dead or Alive” acoustically, starting the whole “unplugged” MTV series. I watched Madonna lose her VMA virginity.

I remember when Courtney Love threw her make-up compact at Madonna while Kurt Loder was interviewing her. I remember when Prince turned around and his ass cheeks were hanging out. I remember when Rose Mc- Gowan was engaged to Marilyn Manson and basically showed up nude. I remember the 1999 Video Music Awards that was hosted by Chris Rock as the best awards show ever.

Last Thursday night, I watched this years’VMAAwards and I have never been more confused in my life.

Who the hell is Panic! At the Disco and what kind of band name is that? The title of the song “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” isn’t even in the song. How the hell is a person suppose to figure out the name of the song and try to find the artist if they can’t even figure out the freaking’ title! Who were the weird people in black who won the Best New Artist award? Avenged Sevenfold and their video “Bat Country?”

This is the part of the awards show where I had a WTF on my face.

What happened to the days of Jay Z and “Big Pimpin’?” 2Pac and “California Love?” Puff Daddy (I refuse to call him Diddy or anything else) and Mase, driving their sport cars through the desert and floating around, talking about mo’ money, mo’ problems? Where did the boy bands go? Where did the female singers like Alanis Morrisette go? Sure, she got over her male angst and fell in love with Ryan Reynolds, but still… Where are the true R&B princesses: Aalyiah (may she rest in peace), Brandy, Monica… Where are the real rock bands? Bon Jovi? Motley Crue? Aerosmith? Who the hell is Fall Out Boy?

Better yet… where did the real, good music go?

I admit, I’m older than a lot of the college students. I wasn’t a teenager when the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync ruled the VMA’s, but I wasn’t old as dirt either. They were performers in my age group that I enjoyed listening too. I wasn’t a teenybopper but I loved that music. I miss those days.

You know… the days Backstreet Boys, Eminem, ‘N Sync, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, 98 Degrees, Jessica Simpson, Mandy Moore, and Will Smith ruled TRL… back when it was Total Request Live and Carson Daly still hosted it. The days when Backstreet Boys, ‘N Sync, Garth Brooks, and Eminem could sell over a million copies of their new album in less than a week were the best, but an artist is lucky if they can sell 400,000 copies in a month now. Christina and Britney were still innocent and unmarried and none of the members of ‘N Sync and Backstreet Boys had gone to rehab or came out of the closet. Puff Daddy’s offices were right across the street from TRL and he would surprise the audience a few times a month.

The thing with music today is half the artists that are nominated for awards will not be remembered in five years. Example… does anybody remember The Verve? Natalie Imbruglia? Chumbawumba? Fastball? Those were people who were nominated for VMA’s just five or six years ago. In another five years, there will people who won’t remember who Fort Minor is. There will be people who will ask, “Why did all those guys wear make up? Were they trying to be cool or trying to look like girls?”

At first, I felt bad for not knowing who some of these new bands were. Sure, I’ve heard the music. I work in the game room and the XM Radio we have there is usually always set to the Top 20 channel. I might even like the songs and know some of the words, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not confused when I see these people.

They say that music rotates every few years. There were the 80’s hair bands, then the teeny pop with New Kids on the Block, the alternative/grunge, country, rap, and back to the pop. Now we’re back into this weird alternative mode where instead of wearing flannel, the guys are wearing make-up. I just hope it goes away sooner than later.

In the meantime, I’ll just sit back, listen to Jessica Simpson’s new album, waiting for country and pop to come back around. Beware, the next hit boy band is just around the corner.