Posted: August 24, 2006
College Newspaper: Spectator

Paris Hilton, the heiress who is famous for being famous, has finally released the long awaited album that she’s threatened the world with for the past few years.

“Paris” was released by Warner Bros. records Tuesday.

The album begins with breathy vocals over a dance mix. She whispers her trademark “that’s hot” which only makes the listener’s eyes roll. The song, “Turn It Up,” would make a good club song for anybody who’s more interested in the dance beat than the actual vocals considering her voice is so low. It makes Britney Spears’ “Toxic” and “I’m A Slave 4 U” sound like Aretha Franklin.

The album continues with “Fightin’ Over Me” which features rappers Fat Joe and Jadakiss. They’re “discussing” how boys are fighting over her because she’s “just so sexy.” We saw the tape honey, you’re not all that.

“I Want You,” which samples “Grease” by Frankie Valli from the Grease soundtrack, is a catchy tune. The beat is good and her voice sounds okay in it. The only problem is the sample is so blunt; John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John are constantly going through my head doing the hand jive.

“Jealousy,” on the other hand, has drama written all over it. She sings about her best friend who she doesn’t know anymore. She claims the friend is jealous of her. It’s obvious that Paris is referring to her now ex-best friend Nicole Richie (daughter of Lionel). The reason they stopped being friends has never been established but the song, if it’s true, gives a good insight on the situation.

One of the better songs on the album, “Heartbeat,” was written by Billy Steinberg, the man responsible for Madonna’s “Like A Virgin.” Her voice is soft and whispery like it is most of the album, but with the light music and drum beats, it mixes well. The song was kind of nice until it got to the bridge and Hilton whispers “My heart beat likes a drum / When I hear you come.” WTF? Are you kidding me? That ruined it.

In true Paris fashion, she has a song called “Screwed.” Haylie Duff, the older and less famous sister of Hilary, recorded this song last summer and shipped it around to record labels but Paris fought back and put the song on the album. Her voice is sharper, less breathy, with more sassiness on this song than the others.

The worst song on the album is “Not Leaving Without You,” a song that was probably made to be a club hit. Sadly whoever told her to record this song and produced it needs to be hit with a club instead. She’s basically saying she’s going to get what she wants…. saying being the key word. There’s no real singing in this song. “Turn You On” is the same… yet another dance song. “If you’re sexy and you know it, clap your hands” is a line in the song… no joke. To make matters worse, Paris has remade the classic Rod Stewart song “If Ya Think I’m Sexy.”

The album’s rare bright spot is “Stars Are Blind,” her first single. The lyrics are catchy, the sound reminds me of something from Madonna in the 80s, and she actually doesn’t sound that bad on it.

This album can be summed up in a few words—narcissism at its best.